How to smile and clap politely when you don't win.
There is a very funny episode of "Friends" when Joey was up for a "Soapy" award. Rachel tried to teach him how to clap and smile politely if he didn't win Best Newcomer. For those of you that remember the episode, Joey lost his cool when he didn't win and his meltdown was all caught on camera for the world to see, much to the despair of Rachel Green.
Leonardo dicaprio was nominated for an Oscar 6 times before finally winning in 2016 for Best Actor in The Revenant. How on earth did he he keep going year after year, sitting there in the front row at the Awards, perfecting his smile, his "I am happy for you" look when someone else stole his golden nugget? How did he keep coming back, getting better at his trade, his business, his talent but to no avail?
This happened to me. If you look at the list of awards that I have won there are a few: Moray Business Woman of the Year, Highland Business Woman of the Year, Highland Business Women Member of Achievement and ASB Business of the Year 2015. Impressive? I guess so. But look at the list of nominations and shortlistings and you will see I have lost way more times than I have won. So, like leo, why keep on trying when the odds are stacked against you and its more likely you will lose than win?
Last September (2015) my company finally won the Association of Scottish Business Womens award for Business of the Year. It was a very emotional night because I had been shortlisted three time for the accolade. I had pulled my "joey" face on numerous occasions, nodded and smiled like Leonardo dicaprio losing out. And after each loss and year, I would say, "Never again, I am not putting myself through this" Until last year, when my moment finally came and we won Business of the Year. The years of polite nodding, inwardly crying and trying to show my staff that it was the "taking part that counts" finally paid off.
I was up against some amazing Scottish women who ran successful businesses. I had been up against them before, and neither of us had prevailed. So, what happened when I finally won that accolade? I stood on that stage with my Assistant Manager and looked across the room at those other ladies who were also learning how to nod and clap politely, outwardly commending my award but inwardly putting their speech on hold for another year.
So what? What is the point and what does it mean? Dedication, hard work and persistence. I am nothing if resilient and losing out to another amazing business and business woman only pushes me further. So Leo didn't win Best Actor for "The Aviator" - did that stop him going on to do an even better performance in "Blood Diamond" or even "The Wolf Of Wall Street"? No, he kept on working, and working hard getting better at his trade, creating roles like in "The Wolf of Wall Street" until finally culminating in his award earlier this year for his outstanding performance in The Revenant.
it is the same in business. You miss one award, one goal, you pick up, smile and nod at the opposition and keep working on your acceptance speech.